So, last night, I was achy. (If you haven't gotten the news, I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis, and it's hitting mostly in my upper back and neck.)
Cam: You want me to rub some of that Aspartame into your back?
Me: I don't recommend rubbing any artificial sweetener into someone's skin.
(It's called Aspercreme. It's like BenGay, but unscented.)