Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Can I Help You?

We went to an event at church tonight, and Kate conked out at the end (as she does).  Because Heather brought her straight there, she had her backpack with her.  We also brought me a chair so that I wouldn't have to sit on the ground (informal seating and RA do not go together).  So, after Cam had put the backpack on (with the straps adjusted to the size of a tallish seven-year-old), he picked up the sleeping kid in all her floppiness, and tried to get the chair.  I was having a fun game of see-how-long-it-takes-Cam-to-get-frustrated when Gavin (he of the killer sideburns) stepped in and offered to carry the chair.  Then I asked Cam to carry my purse.  Because I'm evil.
We got out to the car, got the chair into the trunk, and bid farewell and thank-you to Gavin.  Cam got Kate into the back seat, and I climbed into the driver's seat.  After a few seconds, Cam came around to my window and knocked on it.  Thinking that maybe he wanted to drive, I rolled down the window and said, "MmmYes?  Can I help you?"  His response, with a very hangdog look:  "I can't get the backpack off."
Now, a thoughtful wife would get out of the car and help him.  As has already been discussed, I'm an evil wife.  I laughed for about two minutes straight as he wiggled and thrashed and finally freed himself from the backpack.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Yummy Smells (and not so yummy)

I love the little scented wax melts that make your whole house smell good.

So, I'm getting one going today, and I asked Kate which one I should use.

Me: Warm Vanilla Creme?
Cam: Potato?
Me: Cinnamon Stick?
Cam: Wet Dog?
Me:  Ignore him.  Gingerbread?
Cam: Sweaty Sailor?
Kate: I like the Vanilla one.  It smells like the ice cream bars I like.

I love how my kid joined me in ignoring the weirdo behind us and continued on with choosing a smell.

Rub *what* on my back?

So, last night, I was achy.  (If you haven't gotten the news, I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis, and it's hitting mostly in my upper back and neck.)
Cam: You want me to rub some of that Aspartame into your back?
Me: I don't recommend rubbing any artificial sweetener into someone's skin.
(It's called Aspercreme.  It's like BenGay, but unscented.)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Lice Shampoos - A Brand Comparison

So.  My kid had head lice.  Emphasis on the word *had*.  Once we discovered the nasty little buggers, I made a beeline for the pharmacy and got this.

You're supposed to repeat the treatment after 10 days, so I went out today to get another kit.  This time, I went for the generic, store-brand one.  Mistake.

Both kits were three-step.  A shampoo, a gel to help the lice comb get through the hair, and a spray that can be used on carpets and mattresses.  I looked at the active ingredients, and they were the same and in the same amounts, so I figured "Hey.  Might was well save a few bucks."

While the active ingredients in the two products were the same, the inactive ingredients differed enough to make it worth the few extra bucks.  First of all, the smell.  The store-brand shampoo smelled like I remembered as a kid: medicinal and strong.  The RID shampoo smelled like... shampoo.  Light and a little floral.  If I had a boy, he might mind smelling pretty, but no problem for a girl.  Second, the combing gel.  It's a great idea.  When you go to meticulously comb through every bit of your kid's hair with the finest-toothed comb ever, this gel helps prevent icky tangles.  In the store-brand kit, not so much.  Lots of ouches and pulling, and quite a bit of shed hair.  And it smelled bad, too.

I can't say much towards the difference in effectiveness for one reason: the RID did the job the first time.  It killed every single one of those buggers and their eggs and let me comb them out on day one.  I checked her daily, and saw nothing.  I re-did the treatment today with the store-brand kit, and still nothing.  It may very well work just as well as the RID.  There were just no bugs to kill this time.

While I cross my fingers and plead with heaven never to have to go through this again (and put tea tree oil in her shampoo)... if I do, I'm shelling out the few extra bucks for the good stuff.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

How very Zen.

Kate's playing her new Wii game, PokePark (and I'll have to do another post about how cool it is), and she's just kinda running back and forth over the same stretch of bridge.
Me:  Where are you going?
Kate:  Somewhere.  Everyone's going somewhere.
Me: How very Zen of you.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Potatoes of Doom

This one's for those sweet teenagers at church that watch my kid on Friday nights.  You know who you are.

Our church has a bible-study-thing-that-defies-definition on Friday nights.  Ish.  We call ourselves The Difference.  For now.  Aaaanyways... child care is provided.  With the exception of one wonderful woman (who also happens to provide daily child care for my kid), the nursery on Friday nights is staffed by teenagers.  A few weeks ago, Kate happened to be the only kid there, and there were two teenage guys there to watch her.  Poor guys.  Cam and I sent her off, snickering to ourselves, wondering just how badly she would scar them.
About an hour later, one of the guys comes in, plops down a picture that was obviously drawn by my kid, and says, "Amy, your daughter has a wild misconception of the general shape of potatoes."  (And a thank-you to Adam for writing that quote down for me.)

So this morning, Kate comes into the living room and announces:
"I'm making a holiday book of the potatoes of doom."
I turned to Cam and said, "She's your kid."
It's about holidays for potatoes.

There are many things that amuse me about this story.
- That a teenage guy not yet out of high school can put together the phrase "wild misconception of the general shape of potatoes".  Hope for the future, man.
- That my kid can remember something that happened over a month ago and decide to turn it into a project.
- That, no matter how pesky Kate can get, he still agrees to watch her.  Yes, I know the church pays him, but there's no hazard pay involved.
- I don't know if we say it enough, but... you're a cool kid, Gavin.

Of course, you did.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Flower and Note

I spent about eight hours at the church last night helping make a massive batch of tamales. 
When I got home, this was waiting on my nightstand.

D'aaaw.  I guess I'll keep her.

Friday, November 5, 2010

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

So, Cam made up a list of things that Kate can be when she grows up:
Squid Farmer
Rainbow Salesman
Lightning Harvester
Rat Wranger
Turnip Arrester
Pyrite Miner
Mage Landscaper
Pretzel Twister
Eye Putter-Onner for Chocolate Bunnies

I followed this up by asking her what she wants to be.  She said:
Police Officer
Optometrist (I had to help her with this one.  She called it the person who works at the eyeglasses place.)

There's still hope for her.  She may turn out normal...  Naaah.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Speaking of Shiny Blue Clefairy...

Last night, in the car...
Kate:  (jabbering on and on about a clefairy she just caught on her Pokemon game) ...and it's got blue ears, and it's really shiny!
Cam: Speaking of shiny blue clefairies... did Prop 19 pass?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Stooges, part Two

(It helps if you've read the previous post: "Cam! Gravity!")

Cam: Now, would you like to know the order of the Stooges?
Me: No.
Cam: It'll only take a minute.
Me:  (putting hands over ears)  Nooo!  I don't wanna know!
Cam: There's Larry, Moe, and Shemp...
Me: I don't wanna know!!!
Cam: Then there's Curly, then there's Joe, and then there's Curly Joe...and then Spanky.
Me:  I don't remember a Spanky.

Note: As I write this up, he's making up a song with the names of the Little Rascals.  I had to remind him what the girl's name was.  Darla.

Cam! Gravity!

Soooo... Cam's doing dishes.  I have an airbake pan that I make my chocolate cake in, and it shouldn't be submerged, since there's air between the layers and any water that seeps in will never dry out.  So I'm showing him how I wash it.  Put pan on counter or stove.  Squirt in a little dish soap and use a cup to carefully pour in hot water until it reaches the top.  Let it soak for a few minutes and scrub.  Easy peasy.  He puts it on the stove top, which isn't quite level.  One cupful of water brought it to the top on one side, but the other side was still dry.  Cam gets another cup of hot water.
Me:  Wait!  (pointing to full end) If you pour that in, it'll spill over.
Cam: (holding cup over the dry end of the pan) Well, if I just pour it on this end...
Me:  Gravity, Cam!  Gravity!  Water flows downhill. (I grab a potholder and shove it under the lower end of the pan, making it level)  Let's just put a shim under here to even it out.
Cam: I don't care which Stooge you use.  Just make it work.
Me:  Shim, Cam.  Not Shemp.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

James Hance - Winnie-the-Pooh meets Star Wars

I found another artist I love. His name is James Hance. Oh, man. If I were still in that whole child-bearing phase, and having a little baby boy, this would be the nursery theme.

Most likely lose it again, anyways.

I love how the scarf lets you know that R2-D2 is Piglet.

The artist calls this one Wookie the Chew.

Check him out. I'm sorely tempted to get some of his Muppet art.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Ursula Vernon and Digger

Cam and I have been fans of the artist Ursula Vernon for years. Back before the "LOL Whut" pear became a meme. Back when she was drawing a comic about a chupacabra in a beret. Check her out.

Here's her blog.

And here's Digger, her Magnum Opus of webcomics. It's about a wombat, but so much more than that. It's fabulous.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Me want. It's 100 classic books, put on a DS cartridge so I can read them without getting a e-reader or a kindle. I already have a DS.

Cam and the Biker Gang

As requested, the story of Cam and the Biker Gang.

One night, fairly early in our marriage, Cam had a dream. In this dream, he was defending me from a biker gang. I don't know. Maybe he'd seen too much Con Air. But in this dream, there was one particular biker who had a crowbar. When he went up against Cam, he threw the crowbar down, like "I'll take you mano a mano". Cam, thinking "what an idiot", went for the crowbar. The biker went for it as well, and it became a tug-of-war for the crowbar.
Now, this was in a dream. In reality, Cam had gotten a good grip on my pillow, and when dream-Cam tugged on the crowbar, real-Cam yanked my pillow out from under my head while I was sleeping. Talk about a kick.

This Land is Your Land

Cam singing while making Kate's lunch.

"This land is your land, this land is my land.
From the Redwood valleys, to the Redwood valleys.
From the Redwood valleys, to the Redwood valleys.
This land is made for you and me."

I defy you to not get that stuck in your head.

::Correction. I am now informed that the song was "This lunch is your lunch." Carry on.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Oddness from Cam part 42

This conversation went down this morning as we were getting ready.

Him: Now you may ask yourself, "Cameron, why are you doing that?"
Me: I have never asked myself, "Cameron... anything."